Dirty Habits...

A Writer's Dirty Habits

I am in no way going to try and intellectualise anything that follows.

It is just a list of things that I do (and dirty habits that I can't avoid) that are part and parcel of my writing process.

1. Exercise books...

Although I word process everything (using a very simple wordprocessor that I talk about here - the Nitty Gritty of it all) I almost always do the first draft with pen on paper.

For me, the paper has to be a French school exercise book.

French schoolkids use two different types of exercise book. One has squared paper and is used for Maths, Physics, Chemistry and so forth. The other has lines arranged like music staves. This is to help with their handwriting.

French schoolkids learn handwriting religiously, copying out texts over and over again, until they get them right. A bit like we might have learned our times tables, back in the day.

As a result, every French man or woman has identical handwriting. Forensic handwriting analysis would be a total waste of time over here.

If a nasty guy decided to rob the little old lady down the road and leave a confession...

"I've robbed the house,

Killed the little old lady

And...

I buggered the cat!"

There would be no way of catching him (from his handwriting, anyway) as all 69 million French men and women have exactly identical handwriting.

It's drilled into them at school.

My handwriting is rubbish but I still use the French schoolkid handwriting exercise books.

And I have to use a certain brand. I get mine from my local Super U supermarket.

I like these as they have hard covers, are pretty cheap and come in a good range of colours.

This is important. I use blue covered exercise books for anything to do with bikes, green for children's writing and yellow for everything else.

Once again, little things like this are very important.

2. Pens

I only use one brand/type of pen to write with.

Believe me, I've tried many others (some far more expensive and luxurious) but if it's not a Stabilo point 88 - Fine 0.4 fibre tipped pen then the words just don't flow.

I get mine from my local Super U supermarket in packs of four - Black, Blue, Green and Red.

For only a few centimes more I can get a 5 pack from Leclerc (another supermarket chain) - this comes with 2 black ink pens but the nearest Leclerc is about 22km away and I'm rarely there.

This is important. I use blue or black pens for writing, green is for additions/improvements/rewrites and red is to identify grammatical errors and smelling pistakes.

Once again, little things like this are very important.

3. Books

I only have two books on my writing table.

A dictionary and a thesaurus. They are both paperback and published by Collins although I suspect that it doesn't matter one jot who published them.

Mine are both almost 40 years old.

Now, think about that.

Think really hard about what I've just said.

I bought those books in the hope that they would help me with my writing. I bought them nearly 40 years ago. I've only recently started to be published. What was I doing for those 40 years? I'll bet that a lot of that time was wasted reading books about how to write.

This is important. If you surround yourself with books about how to write, you'll spend all your time referring to them rather than do the difficult thing; the actual writing.

Once again, little things like this are very important.

4. IT Tools and AI

Get rid of it all - and don't even get started on AI!

That's my gentle advice.

There are plenty of wordprocessors just for writers. They let you write outlines, save information about your characters, create a timeline and so forth. Listen to this...

You don't need them.

I'll repeat that for you, just in case you missed it first time round - you don't need them!

Buy yourself some schoolkid exercise books (with different coloured covers) a bunch of different coloured pens and put all that sort of stuff in them. It'll work out cheaper, you'll end up writing better and... You'll be in control.

As to AI...

Answer me this. Would you let AI advise you on how to make love to your wife or husband? Would you trust AI to look after your kids? Would you get in a car that was driven by AI?

Perhaps you would and, hey, it's your life.

But if you use AI to help you with your writing you'll never be a writer. You'll just be someone pretending to be one.

This is important. If you rely on these tools then you are taking some of the thought process and putting it into the hands of someone else's code.

Once again, little things like this are very important.

5. Clothes

Alright, now you might think that I'm taking things too seriously but...

I actually change into my writing clothes before I sit down to start to write.

These are grey jogging bottoms and a grey sweatshirt (sometimes a grey tee shirt in the summer.) I don't know what make they are; I don't really care but, they are almost certainly more Primark than Mens' Fashion Hall at Harrods.

This is important. If you are wearing clothes that aren't comfortable, trousers that are too tight for example, you're not going to be able to sit still for the two, three or four hours that constitue a writing session.

There might be a sense of ritual involved here. Hey, if it helps the words flow I'd wear a mini skirt and corset, wirth pink ribbons in my hair; I'd just make sure the door was locked and the curtains pulled first.

Once again, little things like this are very important.

6. Timetable

Every Sunday afternoon or evening I create a one page list of things to do for the coming week. I then break this down into chores or tasks for every day of the week.

Although these are primarily writing tasks, there will be some housework mixed in as well.

This way things tend to get done but, more importantly, I can easily see what I'm falling behind on.

As all tasks have to be completed by the following Sunday evening, I often find myself working late on Friday and writing all day on Saturday rather than going out and enjoying myself.

There's an old Chinese saying that... "A man (archer) who has no target, never hits anything." If you don't set targets, you'll never get anywhere.

This is important. It might sound pedantic but unless I do this (it might not be the same for you) I just seem to wallow around in a haze of writing and nothing ever gets finished.

I suspect that the same might apply if you were, for example, trying to finish that bobber build in the garage?

Once again, little things like this are very important.

7. Bedside Book

Let's face it, if you're a writer you almost certainly love books. You probably read a lot. I know that you've got a book on your bedside table. One that you dip into at the end of a hard day. Right?

And there's nothing wrong with that. Unless it gets in the way of your writing.

This is important. If I an reading Hemingway then I'm going to write in the same style (although not to the same quality.) The same goes for Fitzgerald, Dickens or Stephen King. In a way, I get corrupted by the author that I am reading.

I want, need, have to write with my voice - otherwise, what's the point?

Thus, my bedside book (and I love reading as much or I suspect, rather more, than anyone else) is always in French. It doesn't seem to corrupt me as much as it would if it were in English.

Once again, little things like this are very important.

“Well, that's my little ramble over and done with. If you're interested in writing yourself, you probably won't have learned anything worth learning from it and if you just like to read, there's only one thing I can say to you...”

Read to Live, Live to Read!

I hope that you have enjoyed this article.

All the best

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